Diary Entries
6/29/16
I’m a writer with adult acne living in Brooklyn and that’s all I know. The starving young professional. Occasionally my landlord will smoke on the front porch with me and recite bible verses. Sometimes they make me lose even more faith, but I would never tell him that. When does personality pay the bills? Because the dues are paid and the rent is due. I can’t decide what religion I want to be this month.
Xo,
Shayne Amelia Rich
10/13/16
I should teach a MasterClass in self-deprecation. I’m staring at myself in the reflection of the L train wearing fake pearls wondering how I got here. Who goes to an interview at a baby store in Brooklyn and leaves to go dance to Patti Smith on Park Avenue? The rats keep me company while I spiral on this rusted park bench. They would make excellent co-workers.
Xo,
Shayne Amelia Rich
1/4/17
New York City, the place where no one has a good relationship with their dad. I’m procrastinating getting ready for work by laying in my queen sized bed wrapped in an overused baby pink towel. I’m staring at my knockoff Keith Haring posters wondering how I became so basic. When did living here become so casual? Everything is a sign if you want it to be. Maybe it’s okay to be boring after all.
Xo,
Shayne Amelia Rich
2/21/17
If I know nothing else, I know how to cry in the back of an Uber. The closest thing I have to a boyfriend is the bodega store cashier on the corner of Leonard st. He always tells me how beautiful I look despite having raccoon eyes from crying at work. On a really bad day, he’ll give me free rolling papers to see me smile. He’s the only man I need. There’s a reason it’s called the Empire state of mind and not the Chrysler.
Xo,
Shayne Amelia Rich
“She wasn’t looking for a knight, she was looking for a sword.”
5/22/17
My friend Grant is determined to sleep with a guy from every Ivy League school. So far he has captured the hearts of Dartmouth and Princeton graduates. I told him Harvard needs to be next. I got an invitation to attend an old classmate’s home welcoming party. The theme was to dress like your favorite crystal. I made an Irish exit before I could even open the door. I believe in soulmates because it’s the last innocent thing about me
Xo,
Shayne Amelia Rich
7/9/17
The fog covered the tallest skyscrapers in the Manhattan skyline. I had the rest of my life to stare at them. I only had now to go find a bathroom in the Laguardia airport exit. I frantically grabbed toilet paper as improv padding protection. Then, I realized I’m bleeding all over my yellow granny panties with lemons on it. At least I’m not knocked up. We got into her mom’s sun damaged minivan and discussed how controversial Andy Warhol is. I wonder if I’m next.
Xo,
Shayne Amelia Rich
12/8/17
I’m observing the Empire State Building’s red and green light show ensemble on a winter Friday night by choice. I watch in awe from a desk in Astoria, Queens that I don’t own from a view that I didn’t earn. I’ve questioned my sexuality, gained a coffee addiction, and let my roommate give me a stick-and-poke. I have successfully crossed off the starter pack experience of living a gentrified New York lifestyle. I had a tremendous time not liking any of it.
Xo,
Shayne Amelia Rich
12/24/17
Emotionally slutty. Oddly sexy. I can’t believe I moved here at 17 years old. Loving yourself sober feels like you’re high. You don’t have to tell people what’s wrong with you. They probably already know. Life is about having a grid view of the city and wondering how many people are crying right now.
Xo,
Shayne Amelia Rich
